IRVINE, Calif. – Within a day of comedian Stephen Colbert announcing his candidacy for president, he has been endorsed by Computious® – The Everyday Sage of the Digital Age! – a cartoon character whose name rhymes with Confucius, who was revered as one of the wisest people in history.
Colbert is running as a Republican and a Democrat, but the new support will help build a constituency for Colbert among independents who are wise (like Confucius), high-tech types like computer geeks, people who like a good laugh (and who doesn’t?), and cartoon lovers in every state.
“We will go on the stump for Mr. Colbert,” said Computious, who wants Colbert on the California ballot. “We are assembling a team to win Irvine by a big margin.”
Her team includes MeiMei™ (“little sister” in Mandarin) her sister; DotComplicated™, who promises to “keep things simple” in the Colbert campaign; and Serge deFault™, a socially awkward geek who says, “’The Colbert Report’ is the only thing I watch on TV besides shows about computers.”
Since Computious is a cute American with subtle Asian features, she will build support for Colbert among Chinese-Americans, Korean-Americans, Japanese-Americans, Vietnamese-Americans, Laotian-Americans, Cambodian-Americans, Thai-Americans, Burmese-Americans, Malaysian-Americans, Singaporean-Americans, and regular Americans.
Computious’ animal friends will help, including Sweet & Sour™, a sleepy pig who will “stay awake” throughout Colbert’s campaign. PingPong the Panda Bear™, who's lovable, will “give Steve a big hug when Steve refuses to put a bear rug in the Oval Office.” C.C. the Cat™, who will rid Colbert’s campaign headquarters of any mice. And Elman the Elephant™, a gentle worrywart, will quit asking the question, “Gosh, do you think we can win?”
Computious is being bombarded with appeals from other candidates to drop Colbert and support them instead.
In the Democratic camp, John Edwards promises to defend Computious should any comedy malpractice lawsuit arise. Barack Obama, who is good friends with Oprah Winfrey, said he will get the popular TV host to carry a Computious handbag. And Hillary Rodham Clinton said she will name Computious the “First Lady of Lightheartedness.”
Republicans are speaking up. Fred Thompson promises to give Computious a guest spot on “Law and Order.” Rudy Giuliani said he will keep organized crime out of the cartooning world. Ron Paul, often called “Dr. No” for opposing government spending, said he will “put a Computious T-shirt in every home in America.” Mitt Romney pledged to provide free health care to Computious, while John McCain promised to name an aircraft carrier after her.
“All that’s very nice, Computious said, “but we’re going to post nice things about Mr. Colbert on our blog.”
BACKGROUND ON COMPUTIOUS®:
Marie Meade – who is not excessively political despite having an international politics degree from Georgetown University's School of Foreign Service – created Computious® while studying in Taiwan (she is half Chinese). Upon return to the United States, she sold the Computious® greeting-card line in retail outlets across 31 states and Canada. Today, the Computious® product line includes more than 200 gift/product items at www.Computious.com. Customers can personalize all products with names and messages, and most products are created within 24 hours and ship by the following day.
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